Abandon all hope! Join us for an unforgettable tour through the depths of Hell! Have a smoke with Death and take a ride to the center of the Earth, where the undead dinosaurs brood in their eternal decay!
Meet Charon, lord of the Acheron River and keeper of the secret DNA of Leviathan, the hideous giant serpent! Fall to your knees and tremble before Moloch, the eater of babies, part machine but demon to the very core, with his reptile skin, his three faced owl's head, and his six arms and razor claws! Have a drink with Anubis, jackal-headed Egyptian god of the underworld! Is he a mad man? Or mad dog?
You will find Medusa the gorgon, with her evil eye and gaze of stone! Bow to the mighty King Minos, once a man but now a beast! He is waiting to cast his judgment upon you! How deep is your home in Hell?
So many strange and magnificent terrors await you! Beware the satyrs that lurk in dens of depravity! Do you dare face the six-breasted bearded stripper, an eldritch horror in fishnets, with her deadly tentacles and ravenous appetite? And even deadlier still is the unnameable spider-mantis she-devil known only as The Bride! And where The Bride goes, are not the Four Bridesmaids of the Apocalypse certain to follow?
But wait, there's more! Much more! Crawl through the belly of the beast, where you must answer the riddle of the tapeworm! Ride the ghost train! Can you survive the fury of the Atomic Hydra? You'll still have to make it past Edgar the Shark, an abomination of infernal science who crawls on land! And past that is the pig-faced butcher, Ciacco the Hog! Deeper still lies the minotaur cult, and the Great Swine of the Black Forest! Beware!
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Too melodramatic? Eh? Well, you get the idea. Voting begins soon. Jack's Inferno. It's f**king great. You need it. But first I have to get it published.
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