Learn how to write like an arrogant bastard. Read my essays on the art of novel writing. Do I know what I'm talking about? Who knows? But that's the genius of it. New lessons will be posted at random. Learn to use sarcasm like a professional. Learn to write interesting characters. Learn to break rules and tell stories the way you think they should be told. And it's free! Just click the link and read it. Then you can go back to your porn.
http://www.writerscafe.org/courses/The-Right-Way-to-Write-Wrong/658/
Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Jack's Inferno: top ten finalist in the Fresh Blood manuscript contest
Yeah, so I wrote a book. It's called Jack's Inferno Volume One. It's a black comedy about Hell. I submitted the manuscript to the Fresh Blood competition sponsored by Leisure Horror and Chizine Publications, and I made the top ten. Voting will begin in mid January on http://www.chizine.com/ or http://chizine.com/chizinepub More info at http://dorchesterpub.com/Dorch/SpecialFeatures.cfm?ID=2757 Winner gets a publishing deal including mass market paperback and limited edition hardcover. I will be posting random excerpts and plot and character descriptions from time to time. Just to get you started, here's the back-of-the-book synopsis.
WORST F***ING DAY OF MY LIFE
Let me tell you about my day. I died. That was my morning. Death pulled up in a '76 Cadillac Eldorado. He was drunk and crazy. By the time we wrecked, so was I.
Hitchhiked across Hell with a truck-driving Judas-freak off his meds. Rode a burning slave ship across the Acheron, then hit the gift shop. Got a bad reception from the locals in a backwoods necropolis. Stopped at a greasepit diner and bailed on the check. Took a ride through the woods and got carjacked by some roadkill. Long story, don't ask. Slept with a housewife in Limbo. Her husband tried to sacrifice me to Moloch. Had a tea party with King Minos and some dead hookers. Anubis gave me drugs. Met a pimp named Grendel. Hit up a strip joint and almost got gang raped by satyrs. Married a demon at gunpoint, but I left the chapel in flames. Went bankrupt in a poker game with three dogs and Toulouse Lautrec in the basement of a place called "The Screaming Whore."
Beyond that, I have no idea what's going on.
WORST F***ING DAY OF MY LIFE
Let me tell you about my day. I died. That was my morning. Death pulled up in a '76 Cadillac Eldorado. He was drunk and crazy. By the time we wrecked, so was I.
Hitchhiked across Hell with a truck-driving Judas-freak off his meds. Rode a burning slave ship across the Acheron, then hit the gift shop. Got a bad reception from the locals in a backwoods necropolis. Stopped at a greasepit diner and bailed on the check. Took a ride through the woods and got carjacked by some roadkill. Long story, don't ask. Slept with a housewife in Limbo. Her husband tried to sacrifice me to Moloch. Had a tea party with King Minos and some dead hookers. Anubis gave me drugs. Met a pimp named Grendel. Hit up a strip joint and almost got gang raped by satyrs. Married a demon at gunpoint, but I left the chapel in flames. Went bankrupt in a poker game with three dogs and Toulouse Lautrec in the basement of a place called "The Screaming Whore."
Beyond that, I have no idea what's going on.
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